Scott + P90X = FAIL!

I have a confession, even though Scott & I have written a book, that doesn't really mean we're writers. We basically like writing down funny things to make each other laugh. One time we wrote down so many funny things it turned into a book, a book so funny that Grand Central Publishing thought they could make money if they paid us a nominal fee to print and sell said book on our behalves. Turns out people are buying this book, laughing, and emailing us about how funny (or horrible) they think it is. Cool it worked.

A couple weeks ago, Scott got an idea to do a P90X blog (see 7/12/09 blog entry). I reluctantly agreed to help out. I thought I'd like to help write some funny stuff. After all, the twelve videos that are P90X are indeed comedy GOLDMINES!

Scott then wrote a cool intro and began what could be the 2ND WORST FUCKING BLOG of all time (behind www.thebunnyblog.com). The following is a sarcastic open letter to my best friend in the whole wide world:

Dear Scott,
Thanks for starting your P90X blog. I'm really excited to keep up with the blog to see how you're doing. Hell I might even start P90X because your motivation is so contagious! This is gonna be an inspirational/awesome/sweaty 90 days of amazingness! I gotta warn you though, I'm kinda new to this whole thing so you'll have to take the reins and run with it. I'll try to keep up if I can.

Wow you created a widget so we can see what your starting weight, current weight, future weight, and weigh-in date are. That's an awesome idea that really allows those of us who are following you to keep up. It also puts a "ticking time bomb" spin on what you're doing, adding pressure and entertainment value. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?!

Alright, looking for other content here...hrmm. Let's see. Maybe Scott's computer is broken. It's gotta be here somewhere though. Scott knows computers really well.

You are BLOGGING about P90X right? I mean, the most basic thing in doing a fitness/workout blog would have to be a BEFORE PICTURE. Right? We'd definitely want to see what you look like now, probably in a pair of shorts with a frumpy look on your face or something. Seeing how fat you are would really get us involved and want to root for you, maybe even post comments encouraging you AND belittling you, both of which would most likely motivate you to finish the job. Iunno, maybe I just don't know how to blog.

And since you're faithfully doing P90X every single day (you MUST be without any exception whatsoever, right?), would an update kill you? Those videos are so fucking intense, you must have some CRAZY observations about them, especially the FIRST DAY. I understand unless you're in really good shape, P90X is not possible to even start...without crying and vomiting. Don't worry, your first day probably wasn't that big a deal. Nothing to write home about that's for sure.

Also, were you planning on just showing us a picture when you hit day 90? I noticed that one week has gone by since your intro post. Maybe the internet is malfunctioning and failed to show us the bare minimum six entries you should have posted this week alone. You know, the entertaining entries about:

- What it is
- Where you got it
- Why you started
- How you do it
- Where you do it
- When you do it
- How intense it is
- Whether you need weights or not
- How weird/old/awesome Tony Horton is
- Who's working out with you
- How strong you currently are
- What those crazy exercises are like
- Your unease with doing Yoga
- How much pain you're in
- What your motivation is
- How many times you fell off the wagon in week one
- The intense/unfair exercises that you can't possibly keep up with
- How you'll probably never do this.

Bah, don't listen to me. I'm probably overreacting. After all, it's just a ninety day program to get you in the best shape of your life taking a complete commitment of time and energy. You're probably just coasting through it.

But we wouldn't know.