Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Fat Bastard Challenge

In my quest to find a quick fix solution to being a gigantic fatass, I took to google for the answers. Turns out that if you're looking for easy answers, a visit to the Mayo Clinic website is the worst possible idea you can have. An uncomfortable trip to Mayo reveals the following complete and total nonsense:

"There's no magic bullet for losing weight. The most effective way to lose weight and keep it off is through lifestyle changes: Eat healthy, low-calorie foods, watch portion sizes, and engage in regular physical activity." - Mayo Clinic

We believe this crap exactly as much as we don't WANT to believe this crap. So, in light of this, we are about to start the greatest, fattest, blog experiment ever conceived by portly bloggers. Until I think of a better name, I'm calling this: The Fat Bastard Challenge.

It's not even really a challenge, I guess, but the name sounded cool, so it stays. This is how it works. Readers (all 3 of you) will submit - via blog comment or email - one reasonably priced fitness and/or weight loss product that you would like us to try for you. This will give you a chance to test, on us, the incredible benefits (or pleasant side effects) before subjecting yourself to anything not FDA approved.

Once the three of you have made your suggestions, Bill and I will buy, use, and evaluate the product for one month. Examples of such products include, but are not limited to: Exercise gadgets, Diet pills/foods, non Tony Horton fitness programs and/or hallucinogenic fitness toads.

So, get crackin' America. Give us your fitness ideas. We'll pick the most awesome one and achieve 100% total successes with it, guaranteed.

PS: John Basedow (the guy in the six pack abs pic above) is a douche. That is all.


  1. u should try the gazzell

  2. gazzell? tony little is a bigger douche than john basedow.

  3. fat burner pills with sweet looking bottles are the shit. OR that ab thing that electrocutes you. DO IT!!

  4. The thing that electrocutes you is by far the device you require.