Monday, August 10, 2009

Weblargh! - Me vs. My Brain

I kicked off week 5 of P90X last Monday. I would say that I am definitely in the best shape of my fat life so far, and there's no place left to go, but UP!

But that would be total bullshit.

One thing I've noticed about my brain is that every single time I achieve even nominal success at something, it kicks into self destruction mode and becomes a relentless pain in the ass. A sample (my brain is in green):
Scott vs Scott's Brain (round 1)


I could stop, eat like an asshole, and sink back into butterburger bliss. Of course, this is exactly what my brain is telling me to do right now. Working out is hard. Eating the right food is a pain. I keep thinking that I'll reach the point where all of this working out and eating right becomes second nature. At that point I'm hoping that my brain's immensely powerful self destructive side will kindly shut the fuck up for a while.

Listening to my inner dialogue has become almost comical at this point. Whenever it's time to work out, some of the best excuses ever created come flooding out. There seems to be this line of absurdity with procrastination and failure that you simply must cross before you can actually get anything done.

For example, this is what I went through right up until the point where I actually DID work out yesterday.

Scott vs Scott's Brain (round 2)


TWO HOURS LATER



ONE HOUR LATER



This is where we've reached procrastination absurdity threshold. This is where your brain runs out of reasonable options and proposes doing something so ridiculous (watching Real Housewives of the OC) that you finally snap out of procrastination mode and say:
SERIOUSLY, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, BRAIN!?
The point here is that your brain is a dick and will try to destroy you most of the time. Try to set your absurdity threshold low, so when your brain tells you to eat cupcakes, you instinctively call him an asshole and you go do pull-ups instead. Good luck fatties, we're in this together. (and by together, I mean: until I'm skinny and fit, then I'm totally abandoning you)

2 comments:

  1. HAHA! Tell your fat brain to shut up.
    I have a feeling Bill Lloyd is behind it though.

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